Today, I fell in love with an excerpt from Stacy London's, co-host of TLC's What Not to Wear , new book The Truth About Style!
Photo credit: Riley Fields
~First, consider the principle "accept what you've been given"--the "yes" part of the equation. "Yes," where style is concerned, is an unbiased, dispassionate acceptance of who you are, where your body is right now (today, not next week, after a crash diet), and what your life circumstances are. You must accept the good, the bad, and the ugly, without prejudice. "Notice, don't judge," as my sister Jaclyn once told me attribution, sister, see?). You must get to a Zen place about the raw material you have to work with, to be able to say, "I love my back, hate my ass, I'm old, I have limited resources, and that's okay." Acceptance means knowing when your pants are too tight. It means not wearing your favorite dress when the armholes squish your chest into your armpits. When I say "accept," I mean accept: No more judgment, just pure dispassionate observation. The "yes" is absolutely essential to style. If you deny the reality of your body or your life, you'll never be able to dress any of it well--even the parts you love. You have to see it all to work with any of it.
Ignoring a problem (or a "problem area") doesn't solve it. Trust me when I say I've tried that route many, many times. The only way to deal with a style problem is to confront it and attack it head-on. This is the "and" part of the equation, the best part of it. "Yes" is acceptance; "and" is advancing to the next step. "And" is coming up with a passionate strategy to emphasize what you love about yourself and to de-emphasize what you don't. Don't ignore your least favorite areas or try to hide them. Hiding implies a shame about ourselves. Even when you don't like something, you can accept it and "consciously camouflage" (trademark pending) it instead. Go up a size or three to look great in your pants. Strategize your spending budget. Part of "and" is using style as a tool to help create the image you want to put out in the world that tells others how you want to be treated. It can also help you foster self-esteem you didn’t know you could have.
For fashion-book clichés like "the must-have trench for spring" or "three ways to rock a poncho," you'll have to go somewhere else. Let's be honest: If "how to" advice were that useful, you'd all be dressing well and I'd be out of a job. The "how to" approach is about changing your look. From years of working with women, I've discovered that that is only part of what they're really after. For that reason, my book doesn't only deal with how to dress well, and why you should, but it examines why you don't. We all put obstacles in our own path toward personal style, myself included. If we understood why we constructed these practical and emotional obstacles, we might move beyond them to healthier, happier perceptions of ourselves and, ideally, a better sense of self-esteem. Style can change your look, certainly, but it can also change your life.- Stacy London
oh, and btw:
Jayy.
